"Star IQ's heads up on the day gave me a rueful chuckle:'Meanwhile, Venus forms a semisquare with the Sun, making us aware of how often relationships fall short of our expectations.' In my experience, expectation is the quicksand of the universe -- it will suck you down until you take your last despondent gasp. All hurt feelings seem to originate in that shifting, impossibly dense sandpit of ego-need. When we insist on something from another, we are coming from a place of self-interest; approaching another with our authentic feelings and desires is not the same as projecting our needs onto someone else to fulfill -- that's pretty much a contract for unhappiness, leading to manipulation, resentment, punishment and disappointment. Why is it that we think someone else can give us what we can't find within ourselves? The concept that has helped me grab a twisted vine and pull myself out of this kind of danger goes like this -- it is as much an error to take offense as it is to give it. Whatever has wounded you, blow it off, don't personalize it...and live to overreact another day.
Reviewing our expectations in relationships takes maturity and self-reflection, and in some cases, may be a deal breaker. It may be "time" to leave some old acquaintance behind. I'm talking about the kinds of relationships that are abusive, of course -- or the ones that are toxic to us. Be careful to properly assess that second, though...there is a difference between "finished" and "toxic." There appears to be a growing need within the human family to find our "tribe" -- and that's not a sociopolitical statement as much as a spiritual one. Last week's article prompted a reader to write in that the "I love you, but..." dynamic had brought her family into a kind of standoff from one another; they've found that time spent together has become too painful to tolerate. I'd suggest that you will find such a challenge in most every family in these quickly changing days."
Reviewing our expectations in relationships takes maturity and self-reflection, and in some cases, may be a deal breaker. It may be "time" to leave some old acquaintance behind. I'm talking about the kinds of relationships that are abusive, of course -- or the ones that are toxic to us. Be careful to properly assess that second, though...there is a difference between "finished" and "toxic." There appears to be a growing need within the human family to find our "tribe" -- and that's not a sociopolitical statement as much as a spiritual one. Last week's article prompted a reader to write in that the "I love you, but..." dynamic had brought her family into a kind of standoff from one another; they've found that time spent together has become too painful to tolerate. I'd suggest that you will find such a challenge in most every family in these quickly changing days."
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